why judging yourself into happiness won't work
the more you judge your happiness, the further away you get from psychological well-being.
4 minute read
feeling concerned about one’s feelings of joy was also directly correlated with a lower score in life satisfaction and psychological well-being and a higher score for depressive symptoms.
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people often think about how happy they are or how happy they want to be in order to structure their actions and behaviours to live the life they’ve always wanted. they view happiness as a goal as opposed to a state of being. in many cases, seeing happiness as a goal to be reached can help people achieve it.
however, a new study has found that those who judge or concern themselves with reaching a specific level of happiness on a regular basis could be doing themselves a disservice. as it turns out, the more you judge your current state of happiness, the harder it might be to actually feel happy within yourself and your life.
the research, published in the journal emotion and again by the american psychological association (apa), was drawn from three separate experiments conducted by the researchers working on the study. over 1,800 people participated and were tasked with comparing their level of happiness to how often they were focused on obtaining it.
searching for happiness
the phrase the pursuit of happiness, coined by english philosopher john locke and later borrowed by thomas jefferson to put into the american declaration of independence, has been changed throughout history to its now-modern definition of simply identifying what would make you happy – whether it be love, money, fame, etc. – and doing everything you can to get there.
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however, the term was initially dedicated to searching for “true and solid happiness,” a state in which a person does what must be done for their best interest at heart.
for example, if people believe that they need money to be happy but work themselves to the bone to get there, they are not acknowledging what would make them truly happy, nor are they caring enough for themselves to be truly satisfied with their quality of life.
there is also a distinction between “true” and “false” pleasures. think of it this way – a true pleasure feeds into your overall quality of life, driving happiness as a result. a false pleasure, on the other hand, looks to instant gratification and things that may make you feel good at the moment but can be detrimental in the long term.
for example, having a few too many drinks with friends may bring joy in the moment to an otherwise mundane occasion, but many of those nights may bring about health issues later on that severely and negatively impact a person’s overall experience, reducing their level of happiness over time.
other studies that have assessed the search for happiness have also found it to be futile. the more people value constant feelings of happiness, the more likely they are to be disappointed during times of stress or hardship.
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this new study, however, found that people’s unhappiness is not caused by their search for happiness but by their constant concern about not being happy or achieving what they believe they need to feel joy. therefore, it isn’t about what people do to find joy but rather how much they judge themselves for not experiencing it.
the study methods and results
the study pulled its results from surveys conducted with various participants, some in the united states and others in canada. the survey asked people to answer truthfully about how they perceived happiness, their beliefs surrounding the emotion, and self-reported scores of their own psychological well-being. the presence or absence of depressive symptoms was also a part of the collected data.
the researchers aimed to determine whether the societal pressure of “good vibes only,” or the need to feel constantly happy to experience better well-being, held any weight regarding true happiness.
as it turned out, from the scores from the 1,800 people who participated, the more people tried to force themselves to be happy, or the more they thought and judged themselves for not feeling happy, the worse off they were.
feeling concerned about one’s feelings of joy was also directly correlated with a lower score in life satisfaction and psychological well-being and a higher score for depressive symptoms.
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specific positive events were also affected by those more concerned with being happy, and those more worried about enjoying themselves ended up disappointed, even if the event they attended was fun, exciting, or overall positive.
judging your happiness based on others is also a factor in the study, which shows that comparing your average or mundane days to someone else’s best day is a surefire way to feel less satisfied with your life and, in turn, leads to more negative feelings and depressive symptoms.
expectations and judgements hold no place in “true” happiness
in the words of max black, one of the two main characters from the sitcom two broke girls, “it’s life; lower your expectations.” these study results show that this phrase, while meant for dark comic relief, holds some weight in the real-world search for life satisfaction and happiness.
thinking, judging, and expecting yourself to feel happy all the time is a one-way street toward disappointment because the higher your expectations, the less likely you are to be satisfied with the outcome.
these results show that feeling what you’re feeling – positive or negative – is the best route to happiness, even if it feels uncomfortable along the way.
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