national child and youth mental health day 2025: a guide for parents to support your child’s mental health
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by refraining from judgment and keeping the conversation light but attentive, your children will start to feel more open to discussing things with you, regardless of their age.
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as a parent, you dedicate the majority of your time to ensuring that your children are well taken care of. you feed them nutritious meals, help them with their homework, encourage them to find joy in hobbies and friendships and try to be a safe place they can land if anything goes wrong.
that said, even the best parents can face challenges when knowing how to help them with their mental health. after all, declining mental health can be difficult to spot, even in children. in some cases, it can be even tougher to talk about when those children in question aren’t sure how to approach the topic or find the words to explain what they’re feeling.
arming yourself with the right tools and knowledge surrounding mental health is a great place to start, as well as knowing where to turn if you need more in-depth assistance.
mental health disorders in children
according to the canadian institute for health information, as much as 20 per cent of canada’s youth and children experience some form of mental disorder, and 70 per cent of all mental health issues begin before the age of 18.
the effects of mental health declines in children can significantly impact their ability to function in everyday life, just like they would in someone who is of adult age.
dr. khadijah watkins, program director of the child and adolescent psychiatry residency training program of massachusetts general hospital, has seen how these disorders can negatively impact children firsthand through her work.
“it gets in the way of them being able to socialize and connect. it gets in the way of them being successful at school,” she said. “it’s really big for everyone, but especially for children because they’re developing and growing and figuring out who they are and if this is all clouded by depression, anxiety, or whatever they might be challenged with, and they’re struggling behaviorally … it really weighs heavy on their self-esteem and their ability to feel confident and secure.”
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the significant impacts that mental disorders can have on children, especially untreated mental health disorders, can lead to those issues continuing well into adulthood. because of that, parents must get to know the signs, tools, and strategies needed to notice when something may be off and how to broach the topic in a way that fosters safety and open communication.
dr. elizabeth cawley, chief clinical officer of playspace, a digital platform that supports therapists in delivering high-quality therapy through interactive games and activities, notes that mental health literacy amongst parents is essential, especially when younger children are involved.
“children don’t necessarily have the language or capacity to express how they’re feeling or what’s going on in relation to mental health,” she said. “parents really need to get up to speed and sort of recognize those signs and symptoms so they’re able to properly engage with their child, ask the appropriate questions, and get them the right type of support in a really efficient manner so that they don’t turn into more severe issues.”
recognizing the signs of mental health issues
many parents may not know what to look out for when it comes to recognizing the signs that they’re children are struggling with their mental health. however, some generalized signs could indicate changes.
“younger kids might become a little bit more moody, irritable, clingy. they might become a little bit more regressed. they might decide they need to co-sleep again, or they might start wetting the bed again,” said dr. watkins. “and older kids, they may have some of this as well, but you can see more isolation and withdrawal, maybe from friends, from family, maybe from school.”
dr. watkins also notes that older kids may also engage in riskier behaviours when facing mental health issues, such as social media or digital media misuse or substance misuse. if they change their sleeping or eating patterns, that could also be an indicator that something larger is at play.
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but according to dr. watkins, it’s all about knowing your child and where their baseline is.
for example, if your child has never had an interest in sports or hanging out with large groups of people, and that continues, it’s not necessarily a sign of isolation. but if the opposite is true, and their baseline is wanting to be out with friends all the time, participating in sporting events, and generally being social, withdrawing from others should send off some alarm bells.
dr. cawley notes that paying attention to what your child isn’t doing is just as important as what they are doing.
“normally it’s not engagement, but it’s disengagement,” she said. “those changes in behaviour are things to recognize, and that’s when you need to have that conversation.”
obvious signs, such as expressing feelings of not wanting to live, should also be taken seriously when coming from children.
creating a safe space for communication
when your child begins to experience depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, talking about it won’t always feel easy. that’s where you have to take the reins and create a safe space to speak not only about mental health in general, but also about their specific concerns and emotions.
dr. watkins says that the earlier these conversations start, the better it will be for your child if anything does occur that affects their mental health.
“the best way to have these conversations is to begin to have these conversations early on and frequently, so that it has become commonplace to have conversations around mental health and how you’re feeling and your emotions,” she said. “so, it doesn’t feel like a big talk.”
by normalizing mental health in general, children can begin to understand more about how to express themselves when things feel off within them, even if they can’t find the exact words to explain their emotions.
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parents who haven’t introduced mental health into the equation early on aren’t out of luck, but approaching the conversation in a low-pressure way is an excellent strategy.
according to dr. cawley, it’s all about creating opportunities for children to open up.
“one of my best friends, she takes her son and they go on a date every week and they’ll go have a hot chocolate or something and he can talk about whatever he wants to speak about,” she said. “it’s just creating that safe space where children feel okay to bring up how they’re feeling.”
she also notes that making these types of occurrences common will eventually lead to children feeling safe to open up.
“it needs to be this sort of common, repetitive space that they know, ‘i’m going to be able to talk to my mom or my dad or my caregiver or whoever’s looking after me and i’ll have this opportunity.’ it shouldn’t be a one-off,” she said.
kids and teenagers may also feel stigma, shame, or guilt surrounding their mental health. that’s where parents have to approach with an open mind, withholding any form of judgment, criticism, or other language that could make them feel unheard and shut down.
“you really have to be mindful of judgment,” said dr. watkins. “the things you say, the words that you choose, but also the nonverbal body language or the nonverbal communications that we have, whether it’s an eyeroll or a heavy sigh, that’s also important. be careful about being harsh or overly critical because i think this is the quickest way to shut down a conversation with any kid of any age when they feel not heard, not respected.”
by refraining from judgment and keeping the conversation light but attentive, your children will start to feel more open to discussing things with you, regardless of their age. parents also need to not be afraid to ask questions, push when needed, and know when to give space.
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“it’s important to say those things so that kids clearly understand what’s going on and what your concerns are, but most importantly, i think it’s important to express to them that you love them. you care about them and you’re concerned and you want to help,” said dr. watkins.
youth mental health resources
the first step parents can take when accessing resources is connecting with their child’s primary care provider. they act as a gatekeeper to specialists, and they can direct you to where you need to go when it comes to finding the proper assistance with your child and their mental health.
your family physician may direct you to psychotherapists, social workers, psychologists, or a psychiatrist, depending on your child’s needs, what they suspect is wrong, and how severe the condition is. the type of treatment your child needs will also vary, and that will determine what specialist avenue is right for you as well.
“the mental health system is really challenging,” said dr. watkins. “it can be confusing. it could be overwhelming, and especially if you’re trying to do this in the midst of a crisis, it is really hard. so, i encourage people to start with the primary care provider.”
since the wait to see mental healthcare providers in canada can be long, especially for those who rely on their provincial healthcare plans, finding some other supports in the meantime can be especially beneficial.
“there are a lot of families, and especially if you see your child in distress, you don’t want to prevent them from accessing care,” said dr. cawley. “but sometimes the economic or financial burden of it is just too much.”
she continued, “there’s great sources out there depending on the age range, but kids help phone is always a great one because it’s free, it’s anonymous, it can be easily accessed either of the phone via text.”
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dr. watkins notes that, in some cases, your child’s school could also be a great resource to tap into if your child is a bit older, as they may be connected with social workers or school counsellors trained to provide this level of support.
certain online resources can also be supportive for parents and children seeking help in the mental health space, but it’s important to find the right ones.
“i think helping kids navigate this online space and making sure that the resources they’re connecting with are reputable,” said dr. watkins.
she also notes that peer support resources are a great place to turn to for your child to feel more supported.
in canada, several online platforms can provide adequate resources, information, and connections to help parents and children. they include:
- children’s mental health ontario, which offers free counselling for children, youth, and their families
- kelty mental health resource centre, which is a provincial resource that provides parents and children with access to local programs and resources
- the centre for addiction and mental health’s child and youth psychiatry division, which offers programs for youth to help support mental health and wellness
- the national alliance on mental illness, which has the nami family-to-family education program, a free course that teaches parents and families how to assist those with mental health issues
- parents for children’s mental health, an organization that connects families to support networks in their communities
- the mood disorders association of ontario, which is a peer-based, self-help support group resource
- youth mental health canada, which provides courses, workshops, and other services geared toward helping youth with mental health issues
- sickkids gary hurvitz centre for community mental health, which provides resources for parents
- youthspeak, which provides programs for both parents and children that help them cope with and navigate mental illness
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these resources can provide additional support while you go through the healthcare system for your child who is dealing with a mental health disorder.
one other important aspect of caring for your child with a mental health disorder, according to dr. watkins, is also making time to care for yourself.
“we’re no use to anybody if we’re not well ourselves, and it’s so important to remember that our kids cue off us. so, if we’re anxious, they’re anxious,” she said. “so, i think that’s a really important thing as we have the conversation about how parents can support their kids.”
“what we do to take care of ourselves, our kids are watching us. so, we’re also, at the same time, modelling self-care and positive coping strategies and how we identify and label emotions and feelings, and so, i think it starts with us. as parents, we have to make sure that we are doing the best that we can to take care of ourselves, but also recognize that we’re not superheroes and we will make mistakes. we won’t know everything.”
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