surviving the stigma of motherhood
although there is no single cause of postpartum depression, a number of factors are believed to contribute, including family history of mental illness, the physical/hormonal changes associated with pregnancy and sociological effects, such as poverty or being part of a marginalized population. there’s also a stigma that can come with perceptions of how a new mother should behave.
“we have very high expectations of people as they transition into their parenting role,” charlebois says. “the whole phenomenon of ‘good enough’ parents is really difficult because to be a good mother, women can feel like they have to cook all the meals, clean the house, take the kids to all those hockey practices and they need to do this while looking good and being thin and making everybody think that they’ve got all their ducks in a row.”
failure to meet these lofty expectations can leave parents feeling inadequate and, in some cases, fearful of the potential repercussions of sharing these feelings with others. they may be concerned that “if they tell somebody they’re not feeling good, someone will call children’s aid and the baby may be taken away,” charlebois says. “that fear is a really big concern as people are parenting and struggling with their mental health.”
recognizing the warning signs of postpartum depression
in canada, it can be difficult for individuals experiencing these feelings to get the help they need, often because their symptoms aren’t taken seriously enough or the resources required aren’t available. it’s important for new or impending mothers to talk to their loved ones if something doesn’t feel quite right.
“speak to your family and friends, speak to your health care provider,” charlebois says. “a lot of the time, people who are experiencing these symptoms, they don’t necessarily recognize them. it’s your family and friends that might notice that you’re not acting like yourself, that you seem to be kind of on your own. speaking to your healthcare providers gives them the opportunity to intervene and provide support.”