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sex matters: well-being, sexual pleasure and relationships are a lifelong journey
4 minute read
preventing sexually transmitted infections (stis) and unintended pregnancies is one piece, but there’s the whole other landscape of sexuality that also needs to be addressed: enhancement, well-being, sexual pleasure and relationships.
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sexuality, sexual health and how people connect in relationships isn’t confined to adolescence and early years of dating. it’s a lifelong journey. the body changes over time, and expectations about sexual interactions can also change, so there’s a lot to know and navigate.
yet, sexual health is still a taboo topic that’s controversial in primary education and not readily talked about with peers and healthcare providers.
starting the dialogue about sexual health
dr. jessica wood, director of research and policy development at the sex information and education council of canada (sieccan), is part of a network of changemakers to help people make decisions about their sexual health and their sexual lives.
“there are attitudes about sexuality that have changed over the decades and different factors that impact people’s attitudes to more openness to discussion or less openness to discussion,” dr. wood says. “there’s so many different pieces of it, the cultural piece, the social piece and other factors like media, our access to education, our access to services. and then we’ve got our own personal take on whether we want to talk about these things, whether we feel embarrassed or not. so, there’s so many different factors that impact whether we want to talk about sexuality personally or collectively as a social group.”
she also notes that educators and healthcare providers tend to get “stuck” on the prevention aspects, like preventing sexually transmitted infections (stis) and unintended pregnancies. there’s the whole other landscape of sexuality that also needs to be addressed: enhancement, well-being, sexual pleasure and relationships.
“these all are really important aspects of people’s lives that often get missed,” she says.
sexual pleasure should be a priority
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the pleasure of sex should be a focal point throughout our lives because it is part of our overall well-being.
sieccan has a wealth of resources, starting with a benchmark guide for youth to inform and help educators and healthcare providers start the dialogue.
“in the younger age groups, we’re really talking about foundational skills for learning about who you are, how to navigate the world, how to be a good person and interact with other people and understand the diversity of experiences and understand bodily autonomy and consent and learning these really important communication skills,” dr. wood says. building empathy, social and emotional skills can be applied to more specific sexual health pieces in the older grades.
“so, if we’re talking about something like consent, they’re learning that someone has to ask if they want a hug, or if you want to put a photo up online, you have to ask someone’s permission for that, too.”
understanding puberty and body development is also key to bringing self-awareness and avoiding the reaction of “this is happening to me, and i’m scared.” the aim of education is to provide youth with the information to make good choices for their bodies in situations and relationships, and to be informed about sexual behaviour and safer sex strategies.
“we’re also talking about giving them knowledge and skills to understand all these things before they begin having sex. you want people to have this knowledge so that they can feel comfortable doing things when they are in the situation rather than it being completely new to them.”
complexities of online spaces and technology
a good foundation sets youth up for informed adulthood, which is more complicated than ever amid the pressures of social media and the need to navigate online spaces and technology, dr. wood says.
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there are the experiences of tech-facilitated sex to understand, along with how technology can be used as a way to connect. adults need the navigation skills to help themselves and often their kids as well.
she also discusses the expectations around relationships and finding what that connection looks like, whether it’s one relationship that you should go into really young and stay with that person forever, versus thinking about relationships that you can build for yourself if you’re single, in a series of monogamous relationships or polyamorous.
“i think there’s a great need for people to get information when they are in their 20s, 30s and well beyond, because they need to have access to proper or credible and accurate sources of information about sexual health to update their knowledge related to their changing needs,” she notes.
she’d like to see people ask their healthcare providers about navigating sexual satisfaction after they’ve had children. later, they need to ask and learn about hormonal changes that may lead to vaginal dryness for women in perimenopause and menopause, and lowered testosterone in men that can affect libido and erectile function.
“my body is completely changing, and my relationship is changing as a result. what do i do to navigate that, and what resources are out there?” dr. wood also says that the risk of stis is still prevalent in older adults, but prevention materials are targeted at younger people, so there’s a gap in support.
the same goes for enhancement or enhancement materials, where people don’t have the knowledge and feel left out of this conversation by a society that focuses on youth (despite the aging demographic).
information is empowerment for all age groups, dr. wood says. “we need relevant, accurate messaging that addresses the needs across each age group to ensure that people have the information to make decisions about their sexual health and well-being.”
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