i was just a kid when my parents found out that my brother, a hemophiliac, had contracted hiv and hepatitis c through a blood transfusion. but you didn’t have to be super perceptive to realize that as soon as word got out, my family’s world got a whole lot smaller.
not only did many of my mom’s and dad’s friends stop calling, but things became weird and uncomfortable with the parents of my brother’s friends, which, in turn, made it weird and uncomfortable for my brother and his friends. then came the playdate drought, followed by the drying up of birthday party invitations and an odd tendency for those nearby to maintain what they thought was a “safe” distance. all of this, despite the well-reported fact that hiv was only transmitted through bodily fluids like blood, breastmilk and semen.
when stigma bleeds into the places you depend on for care
if you have ever had the misfortune to encounter this deep-seated kind of stigma, you know there’s no point in trying to convince people otherwise or set off on the soul-sucking journey of attempting to change minds and perceptions. you basically hold your head high, hug your kid close and put one foot in front of the other, alternating between ferociously raging at the wankers and pretending what they think doesn’t matter to you — or your child.