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juhl: 6 ways to become the best parent at your child's holiday concert

this is a big day, so here are a few ways to make it perfect while not becoming the parent everyone complains about at the school-bus stop.

there are two school concert-related things that are legendary in my family: the fact that i will cry at every one, whether or not my own child is on stage, and that time the older kid was in a high-school production of grease and their baby sister wailed — at a decibel level only a four-month-old can reach — immediately after rizzo announced she was pregnant.
people mostly ignore it when the first one happens. the second got one of the biggest laughs of the play.
as emotional as i get when children sing their hearts out, let’s not pretend that holiday concerts are never tedious. it’s one more thing to put on a calendar that is quickly filling up with events and get-togethers, and these things take forever — literal hours in school gyms or auditoriums that have seen better days.
this is a big day for your kid and their peers, so here are a few ways to make it fabulous while not being the parent everyone complains about at the school-bus stop.
don’t block everyone’s view with your phone. there’s an announcement before every concert asking parents to turn off their phones, but no one is going to do it. even if there’s a designated videographer, everyone wants to capture the experience themselves. fine, but keep it discreet and don’t put yourself in the middle of an aisle, which is going to distract the kids on stage.
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only share one photo on social. just one, please. no one is going to look through all 87 of them, but they will share your pride over one. the photo should be only of your child; different families have distinct rules about privacy and social media.
let your younger child wiggle, but not run in the aisles or kick the seat ahead of them.
bring flowers for your kid. this honours a grand theatre tradition and might be the first time they get a bouquet just for them.
don’t leave when your child’s class is done, but do move. i’ve been in packed auditoriums at the start of a concert, then watched kindergarten families leave, grade 1 families leave, then the next and next till there are 20 people left to watch the grade 6s, who have worked every bit as hard as the little ones. instead of taking off, move to the back rows, opening up your space for parents of older children.
applaud generously for everyone, especially the teachers. but please don’t demand an encore — we’re all exhausted over here.
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hayley juhl, montreal gazette
hayley juhl, montreal gazette

i’m a queer mom who has been walking the various halls of the montreal gazette since 1989. i write feminist and parent-positive columns and, as a copy editor, am vigilant about inclusive language and sourcing. i believe true change starts with children and continues with lifelong learning.

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