bottaro: how to navigate the holiday season with a chronic condition
9 minute read
i never took the time to learn how to approach the holidays with a chronic disease, so let's learn together.
supplied
stay up to date on this topic
having a chronic disease is a challenge, regardless of the time of year. but when the holidays roll around, and stress, expectations, and overindulgence all become the norm, it’s especially difficult to keep yourself on an even keel. do you give up some of the fun to maintain your health, or do you sacrifice your health in the name of the holiday season?
as someone who lives with a chronic disease, i always feel the holidays a little bit harder than others. the issue is that i’ve never taken the time to research how to approach the season, so it doesn’t have to be sacrificial on either end.
i’ve done it both ways: i’ve stepped back from family obligations, realizing that wasn’t as good for my mental health, even if it meant staying away from certain stressful situations or overeating food i know wouldn’t be good for my body. i’ve also thrown caution to the wind, deciding that the ‘you only live once’ approach would allow me to live “normally,” and the aftermath was future me’s problem.
i learned that neither approach worked.
so, this year, instead of choosing between one or the other, i’ve decided to do the research for myself, and for the other 44 per cent of canadians who live with a chronic disease, so that maybe we can all have a better time during the holidays of 2025.
planning is key
i’ve always been a huge planner—my christmas list is usually written up by october, i’ve finished shopping by the end of november, and all my decorations, fully equipped with wrapped presents under the tree, are ready no later than the first week of december.
but i’ve never taken the time to really plan how i was going to show up for myself and my loved ones, or to prioritize my health over the holidays. and apparently, that deserved just as much attention as all my other to-do lists.
it’s so easy to commit yourself to too many activities or gatherings, even if you know they’re going to tap out your energy. but when you have a chronic disease, that will only make things worse.
advertisement
instead of saying yes to every invite, i’ve found through my research that what’s more valuable is looking toward the most important activities in your life, or those that allow you to manage your symptoms better, and putting them at the top of the list. it’s okay to say no because the year is ending—not your life.
there will still be time to see and enjoy the people that you care about, or activities that you know will drain you more, once the calendar switches into 2026. do yourself a favour and spread out your energy over a longer period.
it’s also crucial that you take the time to schedule breaks or time to relax in between all the commotion, because if you push through, chances are your body will force you to take that break anyway. so, make downtime a set-in-stone part of your schedule, just like every other commitment, and things will feel a little easier.
give yourself grace
you know your limitations, and i know just as well as the next person how annoying it can be to have to acknowledge them sometimes. you know, for a fact, that if you didn’t have to deal with these stupid symptoms that you’d be able to do this, that and the other thing, and sometimes it can be easy to look in the mirror and be mad at yourself, angry at your body for it.
as someone who slips into self-shaming behaviours on occasion, i know that it can be a lot easier to be mad at oneself than to accept that it’s really not your fault you have to deal with it, and you’re capable of doing great things as long as you approach it in the right way.
so, for the love of everything, give yourself some grace. be compassionate with yourself when your body tells you it’s time to take a break, but you know you still have some things to do. being mean to yourself isn’t going to help you feel better, and it won’t make things any easier.
if you’re having trouble treating yourself like you would anyone else you love, it’s never a bad thing to seek out some help. contact loved ones to vent, make an extra appointment with your therapist, or ask someone to take a little something off your plate, knowing that if the roles were reversed, you’d be there with bells on for them—and feel good about it all. tell yourself that you’re doing your best, which you are, and your best is more than good enough.
advertisement
communicate with your loved ones
having difficult conversations isn’t something people tend to gravitate towards, and during the routine of the rest of the year, you don’t usually have to. if you aren’t feeling well in july and have to miss a party, no one really bats an eye. the holidays, though, often come with more pressure to participate.
that’s why it’s essential to speak up about what you need to be able to show up, or that you need time to take care of yourself, so you won’t be as present as you’d like to be.
do you require a quiet place to retreat to during a busy party so you can catch your breath? ask for it beforehand.
do you have dietary restrictions that help keep your symptoms at bay? voice your concerns to the host and have an open dialogue about whether it would be better for you to bring your own dish or if they can accommodate you.
is there a possibility that you will have to cancel at the last minute or leave early because of a flare-up? let them know ahead of time that these are possibilities so you won’t have to deal with any questions or concerns when it’s happening.
are you unable to partake in alcoholic beverages because of your medication or illness, but you know that people will ask why you’re not drinking? again, speak up. there’s nothing wrong with you establishing certain boundaries, voicing your needs and being true to what you need around the holidays with the ones you love most. it will likely lead you to more support and fewer uncomfortable situations.
people who love you can sometimes surprise you, as long as you give them the chance by being open and authentic about your needs.
prioritize rest, self-care and stress management
people tend to put everyone else first around the holidays, myself included, but it’s vital that you keep yourself at the top of your list. you can still give to others, but when you have a chronic disease, you have to be number 1.
advertisement
that means knowing what types of self-care actually work for you and ensuring that nothing stands in your way of participating in them. maybe you usually spend less time sleeping during the holidays, and it throws your body off a bit. not this year—this year, you’re going to get your full 8 or 10, or however many hours you need to feel rested, and everything else can wait.
as for self-care, that looks different to everyone. for me, i like to spend time alone to recharge, take my dog on a snowy walk that keeps us both active (good for us both, really), or cook some delicious yet nutritious recipes i’ve found scrolling through instagram.
regardless of what your self-care looks like, you have to make time for it this holiday season. put reminders on your phone, block time on your calendar, or pick a time each day to do what you need to do for yourself. after the rush of the holiday season is over, your mind and body will thank you for it.
self-care also involves ensuring that you don’t stray from your medication schedule. just because christmas is on a thursday doesn’t mean that it’s any different than other thursdays throughout the year. keep your medication schedule strict.
when it comes to managing stress, which is often inevitable (reading this might even be stressing you out a little bit, and i’m sorry for that), it’s sort of like self-care. the way you manage stress may be completely different than how i or anyone else does it, and if you’ve been living with a chronic disease for a while, you’ve probably already got some techniques in place.
perhaps you exercise or practice deep-breathing exercises. you could also practice mindfulness or meditation, or engage in hobbies you enjoy. it doesn’t quite matter what you do to manage your stress healthily because what works for you will work for you, regardless of the time of year.
advertisement
holiday-specific ways to approach stress management could involve managing others’ expectations, focusing on authentic connection rather than commercial enjoyment, and sticking to your routine as best as possible. planning, communication and giving yourself grace are also great ways to keep stress to a minimum, but i’ve already talked about those.
the bottom line is that, as i’ve said, it doesn’t matter how you manage stress. all that matters is that you do it even when your typical day-to-day is a bit shaken up by the holiday rush.
listen to your body
your body often sends warning signals to let you know that you’re doing too much. in some people, these signals may be quiet, like an alarm clock, whereas others may experience fire alarm-level alerts. mine is often subtle, only growing louder if i try to act like it’s not happening.
but regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of how your symptoms creep up on you, it’s essential that you take heed of what your body is telling you and act accordingly.
when you’re overextending yourself with social gatherings or the stress of everything starts to get to you and symptoms show up, for example, that may be a sign that the next thing on your list will either have to wait or be cancelled so you can jump into some self-care.
on the flip side, listening to your body can also be a good thing. there’s always the chance that you might surprise yourself and feel more energy after an event than you thought you would, allowing you to add something to your list.
when you listen to your body close enough, it will tell you what you need and what you can get away with.
don’t forget to enjoy yourself
maybe you can’t attend every party or overindulge in food, drink and treats like others do because of your chronic disease. that doesn’t mean you have to sit in a corner and focus only on your health. you are not your chronic disease; it’s just something that’s a part of you, and that’s something you need to remember when trying to enjoy yourself.
advertisement
maybe you can’t see everyone you’d like to, but when you’re at the gatherings you could make it to, be present. put your phone away. connect with the ones you love authentically. know that you’ve done everything you can to prepare for a good holiday season with a chronic disease, and trust that the planning, communication and self-care you’ve incorporated will be successful.
when it comes to food, because let’s face it, the holidays and food kind of go hand-in-hand, know your limits, but don’t be afraid to step a little outside the line. for example, two plates of dinner, a dessert and a handful of alcoholic beverages might throw off your health efforts. that doesn’t mean you have to forgo them altogether. pick your favourites, limit your portions to something you know you can handle, and leave any guilt you may have for indulging at the door.
you’re allowed to treat yourself, and there’s literally no better time to do it than the holiday season.
i hope we’ve all learned a little something from this, and that you and i can go into our respective holiday celebrations better prepared for happiness, joy and a little indulgence without sacrificing our health. because at the end of the day, we deserve all those things, don’t we?
share story
