relaxed covid-19 rules helping families cope with grief, calgary funeral homes say

families coping with the death of a loved one got some reprieve last week when alberta public-health officials relaxed covid-19 restrictions on funeral operations in calgary.as of june 1, funeral homes in the city are allowed to host groups of either 50 people or one-third of their capacity, whichever is lower. previously, the limit on gatherings was 15 people. the change came to calgary with the final part of alberta’s phase 1 of reopening.at pierson’s funeral service in southeast calgary, room capacities mean that about 35 people, including staff and clergy, can now be at a service. the increased attendance at services has helped families better process their grief but has also brought its own challenges, according to michael pierson, the home’s president and co-owner.“when there was only a limited number of people we felt like we were in control, and it feels like we’re kind of losing that now,” pierson said. “but we had a difficult few months, with the restrictions of covid, with travel restrictions, with trying to find dates and times that would work.”shane sinclair, a professor at the university of calgary’s faculty of nursing, said it’s not yet known what the mental-health effects are of dealing with grief during the covid-19 pandemic.however, he theorized that grieving while isolating could worsen existing feelings of loneliness, anxiety or depression.“people in these times are feeling very severely isolated and, to feel severely isolated after having lost somebody, that seems like an amplification of a problem that the general public is feeling,” sinclair said.in addition to online services or staggered viewings meant to ensure social distancing, covid-19 restrictions have led to some creative solutions at calgary funeral homes. for pierson, a “drive-by parking-lot service” was one of the highlights.“the family wanted a chance to have more people participate in the service than were allowed, so we took the casket and put it under a tent in a parking lot and had people drive by,” pierson said. “the casket wasn’t open, but it was a visitation where people were outside and they got to visit while being socially distanced appropriately, and they saw many, many friends they otherwise wouldn’t have.”jeff hagel, president of calgary’s mcinnis & holloway funeral homes, said more families are choosing to schedule funerals rather than delay them, a contrast from earlier in the pandemic.

“there’s definitely a whole lot of families that are finding a lot more comfort in having an event,” hagel said. “with all the complexities of grief, it means a lot that they can actually get together, and it’s neat to see because, for a lot of families, this might be the first time that they’ve gathered in months — not just with each other but with anyone.”still, hagel said maintaining even the eased coronavirus restrictions for the foreseeable future will be challenging, saying people need to be able to gather together in times of grief.sinclair echoed the importance of face-to-face interaction when coping with grief and finding closure after the death of a loved one.“we know that people need to come together. we know they need to not merely see each other on the other end of a screen. they need to be in contact with each other,” he said.“they need to be involved in ritual in order to remember the lives that are lost, and those are things that either can’t be done or are so severely modified that they really lose their impact when they’re done remotely or with people six feet apart from each other.”jherring@postmedia.comtwitter: @jasonfherring