kogos: have repetitive, unwanted thoughts? write them down
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"expressive writing — where you write your thoughts on paper and then destroy it — is a simple, effective starting point," says retired dr. david hanscome about repeated, unwanted thoughts (ruts).
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i love my conversations with dr. david hanscom — my friend, author, and respected orthopedic spine surgeon for 32 years. though retired, he remains busy writing, teaching, and sharing what he’s learned from research and his own remarkable journey.
i’ve often come to him to discuss something we all experience: repetitive unwanted thoughts — ruts. over the years, i’ve learned that everyone has them. i treasure our talks, especially when we explore how to manage these thoughts and calm the chaos they cause. i’ve written about ruts before in the window seat, and readers always respond.
“david,” i said during one of our recent talks, “you’ve been focused on finding answers and solutions to chronic illness for so many years.”
“i keep learning as i write my fourth book,” he said, smiling. “it’s called calm your body, heal your mind: transcending pain, anxiety, anger, and repetitive unwanted thoughts. we know that ruts are almost universal. everyone has them — but no one wants to admit it, because these thoughts are irrational. the more you fight them, the stronger they become. i’ve learned that the reason these thoughts are so disturbing is that they’re not coming from the rational part of your brain.”
“tell me more, please.”
“our body’s chemistry influences our thoughts,” he explained. “when you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your thoughts tend to be unpleasant. suppressing those feelings makes your body even more agitated, leading to frustration or anger. in this state, blood flow to the thinking brain decreases, and your upper brain can’t filter information correctly. that information travels to the lower brain — the insula — where it can get stuck. once embedded there, those thoughts interact with the emotional limbic system, making them hard to change.
“that’s why it’s nearly impossible to change someone’s deeply held beliefs. the marketing world calls this reactance: ideas you agree with reinforce your views, but contradictory data makes those same beliefs dig in even deeper.”
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tell me more, i asked.
“there are four key aspects to practice daily until they become automatic,” he told me. “first, separate from your thoughts. second, calm your stress response. third, soften your ego. and fourth, nurture positive neuroplasticity.
“you can’t control your thoughts,” he added, “but you can separate from them. expressive writing — where you write your thoughts on paper and then destroy it — is a simple, effective starting point. it helps you calm your body’s chemistry.”
he paused.
“solving unwanted thoughts is one of the toughest challenges in mental health. while ruts may never fully disappear, we can treat and manage them.”
i laughed. “go on.”
“here’s a metaphor,” he said. “imagine a hornet’s nest — your brain is the nest, your thoughts are the hornets. if someone shakes the nest, the hornets go wild. in medicine, we’ve been fighting the hornets outside the nest, trying to push them back in — but that only makes them angrier. the real solution? quit shaking the nest.
“one of the definitive solutions for addressing repetitive unwanted emotional thoughts,” he continued, “is to soften, or even kill, your ego. think of how much energy we spend defending it.
“this is part of being human,” david said. “we are our thoughts. we naturally adopt, reinforce, and defend our ego in a constant stream of mental chatter. when your beliefs are challenged, you become defensive— and that defence embeds those beliefs even deeper. the term for this is cognitive fusion.”
he smiled. “here’s a simple way to weaken your ego. if someone insults you, agree with them. there’s nothing more they can say. this is called the disarming technique, from dr. david burns, author of feeling good. that book has sold over 10 million copies.”
david believes that one of the most powerful ways to calm both ego and ruts is self-compassion. “when you’re compassionate toward yourself,” he said, “you’re not fighting your thoughts — you’re simply being kind to yourself. self-affirmations often fail because they keep you focused on what you don’t want. real healing begins when your brain focuses on safety, joy, and love.
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“bonnie,” he said, “healing happens through neuroplasticity — your brain’s ability to change. when you focus on solutions, your brain grows in that direction. awareness is key — it separates you from your thoughts. and once you create awareness, you can introduce new information and new ways of being.
“the book the way to love by anthony de mello defines love as awareness. that’s a fundamental concept for healing. the definitive answers to chronic pain — whether mental or physical — are spirituality and playfulness. both create new neurological pathways and shift your body’s chemistry toward safety and healing. doctors may label this ‘alternative medicine,’ but research now shows these are real, evidence-based solutions.”
david’s story is personal, too. “the worst part of my ordeal with ruts started in high school and worsened when i began my orthopedic residency at the university of hawaii,” he told me. “the stress of surgery is extreme, and my fight-or-flight patterns went into overdrive. i thought my racing thoughts were psychological, and i spent 13 years in psychotherapy trying to calm my mind.”
he paused, reflecting. “we all want to feel safe. our minds constantly scan for danger, and our thoughts reflect that. research shows most of our thoughts are about worry — and that 90 per cent of those worries never come true. we worry about being late, being judged, defending our ego, and judging others. but our judgments of others often mirror how we judge ourselves.”
i ask for more.
“start with awareness,” he said. “when an unpleasant thought arises, notice it — then separate from it. your thoughts aren’t facts; they’re chemical reactions in motion. practise calming your body first, and your mind will follow.
“the bottom line, bonnie, is this: sustained stress breaks your mind and body down. when you learn to feel safe, your body begins to rest, regenerate, and heal. quit fighting the darkness— and turn on a light.”
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i smiled, too. there’s always so much to learn — and to practise. i’m grateful for every conversation with dr. hanscom. his words remind me that calm isn’t a destination; it’s a practice, a relationship with our thoughts and our bodies that takes patience and compassion.
our bonnie dances with her ruts, yet keeps learning how to keep on keeping on.
this article was originally published in the sudbury star on november 17, 2025.
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