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opinion: people living with diabetes need support, not shame, over the holidays
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simple empathetic and non-judgmental support could be the greatest gift you give someone with diabetes or any other chronic condition this season.
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i love the winter holiday season. precious in-person gatherings with far-flung family, christmas-lights-lined streets as i walk my dog, cozy-home cooked meals by candlelight. in some ways, it can be the most relaxing and rejuvenating time of the year.
in other, very real ways, it can be fraught with stress and anxiety (for many reasons), including if you live with a chronic condition like diabetes—as i do.
this time of year can be filled with frenzied last-minute shopping, hectic hosting duties, and the most dreaded…airport chaos. and for those of us with diabetes, this fluctuation in schedules and stress levels can make managing our blood sugar trickier than usual.
however, in my own personal experience, managing my glucose levels is not what can make the holidays emotionally taxing for me. after seven years living with diabetes, i’m pretty much an expert in managing my condition. i know what works for me, and with the help of my healthcare team, i have excellent tools and tactics that allow me to live my best yuletide life.
what can be quite taxing is how people treat me and others who live with diabetes during this season. whether out of love or good (albeit misguided) intentions, the family, friends, and colleagues you celebrate with are prone to policing our food and drink choices and inadvertently stigmatizing our actions. this can leave you feeling blamed and shamed, at a time when all you really want to do is enjoy the festivities and the food (in a quantity and type that works for you) like everyone else.
in fact, according to a recent survey conducted by diabetes canada, nearly 90 per cent of people with type 2 diabetes (t2d) and nearly 70 per cent of people with type 1 diabetes (t1d) have experienced blame or shame related to their diagnosis. almost 70 per cent of people with t1d agreed with the statement “because i have type 1 diabetes, some people judge me if i eat sugary food or drinks,” and 31 per cent of people with t2d agreed with the statement “because i have type 2 diabetes, some people judge me for my food choices.”
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holiday gatherings so often centered around sweet treats can be a social minefield for us.
recently i was at a restaurant chatting with another person who has diabetes about our shared condition. the waiter overheard us and kindly said “i guess i don’t need to show you ladies the dessert menu!” we politely responded, that why yes, we would love to see the menu.
of course, we must be careful in our choices, but they are that – our choices.
when people with diabetes experience this, we can turn inward and become far less likely to reach out for support when we really need it. in fact, 40 per cent of people living with t1d and 56 per cent living with t2d never or rarely ask for support to help manage their diabetes when they need it.
as someone who lives with t2d and struggled with feelings of shame and self-blame when i first received my diagnosis, i can tell you how revolutionary it would be for people like me to feel more supported and understood.
i remember many years after my diagnosis, my sister reached out to me and said, “you know, i realize i don’t know much about diabetes and what’s that’s like for you, but i want to help you. how can i support you?”
and it was so simple: a few words: how can i support you?
but it made such a difference to be listened to, to be asked about what’s it really like for me to manage this condition, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
so, the lesson this holiday season to anyone who has someone in their life with diabetes (and there are four million of us in canada currently diagnosed)— just listen and learn.
we are often the best experts in managing our own condition. we know how to ensure we can have that slice of christmas cake or stay up that extra hour to ring in the new year, without putting our health in jeopardy.
so leave that fancy step-monitoring watch and trendy nutrition supplements in your online shopping cart. simple empathetic and non-judgmental support could be the greatest gift you give someone with diabetes or any other chronic condition this season.
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laura syron is the president & ceo of diabetes canada as well as someone who lives with type 2 diabetes.
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